


Selfish

by AStoneTown



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/M, First Time, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 20:58:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14269389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AStoneTown/pseuds/AStoneTown
Summary: Just because you can stop time, doesn't mean you should. Because it hurts, and because it will always hurt.





	Selfish

**Author's Note:**

> Another oldie (2014) from my now deleted doctor/rose fanfiction tumblr. Enjoy.

**Selfish**

_i’ll stop the world  
    and melt with you_

**S.**

The cheers took over the room and it took only a moment before The Doctor looked at Rose, his face shining with joy and hers a mirror image. They saved the day, all of them... the two Doctors, the Doctor Donna... Jack - god, Jack was looking good - Mickey... Martha Jones. As everyone happily shouted their victory, Rose and the Doctor all but leapt into each other’s arms.

“I’ve missed you,” Rose spoke into the Doctor’s neck, her eyes tightly shut.

There was no reply from the Doctor.

There was no noise at all, actually. The TARDIS console room that was bursting with joyous laughter moments before was now deadly silent and if it wasn’t for the arms she felt around her and the smell that she always pegged as being the Doctor’s smell filling her nostrils, she would have sworn it was a dream.

“Rose,” His voice sounded like a shout in the quiet room, he stepped back from the hug, his hands moving to rest on her waist, Rose’s eyes remained tightly shut. “You can open your eyes, you know?”

“I’ve had too many dreams that went this way.”

“Really? You’ve had dreams where there was two of me? How come I’m not surprised?” The Doctor teased and felt warmth spread through him as he saw Rose grin back, her eyes flickering open.

“I have actually had dreams where there was two of you…but not of _you_ you. Of you and you, you know?” Rose asked.

“You mean me and the first me you met?” Rose took joy in being able to give him that ‘duh’ look her always gave her. “You’re full of surprises, Rose. But I have a few surprises too.” His eyes flicked around the room, and Rose’s eyes followed. Everyone was still there. The same as before

Except for one tiny detail.

They were completely still, frozen in whatever position was their last.

“I want to be a bit selfish, Rose, if that’s okay with you?” The Doctor asked, one hand dropping from her waist, and the other moving her hand, gently tugging her into the depths of his ship.

**E.**

“I knew you were a Time Lord, but I didn’t know you could actually pause time?” Rose said impressed, practically jumping as she walked with down the corridor with the Time Lord in question.

“I can’t… I mean, it’s not something I can do out of habit. I… It takes a lot out of you; it was severely frowned upon by the High Council, but…”

“I don’t understand...” Rose responded after the Doctor was quiet for a few moments too long. The Doctor stopped Rose in one of the corridors, his hands on her forearms.

“To freeze time, to use that kind of power, there are so many technicalities. I had to use regeneration energy,” The Doctor paused as Rose’s eyes went wide, “I’ll be able to regenerate again, although it will be my last, but it’ll be a tough one…really tough, not just the regeneration but the next version of me he’ll be a far cry from this me.”

“I’m sure I’ll get used to him, not for a while yet though, yeah?” Rose completely missed the look of mourning that flashed across his face. He nodded.

“I love you,” He said it simply, out of nowhere, yet completely expected. He said it as if it was the most obvious thing and he just wanted to make sure she remembered. She nodded and grinned.

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

**L.**

“How long have we got?”

“Ooh…two days? Two weeks? Two months? Two years? Forever? It’s better not to waste this time together.”

**F.**

They had sex. It wasn’t even awkward, really, The Doctor told her as they continued their walk that he wanted to give himself completely to her, and for her to do the same, and everything just felt right.

The first time had been months ago.

Or days ago.

Rose wasn’t sure anymore, but she was definitely sure that she hadn’t wore clothes in ages and that she was totally okay with that. Considering he wasn’t wearing any either.

**I.**

“This has been the greatest time of my life.” Rose told the Doctor one evening, or morning…afternoon. He nodded moving to kiss up her neck. “I know I haven’t asked, I don’t think I have anyway, but why are you doing this? We’ve got all the time in the world once we go back.”

“Rose, how long have we been here?”

“I don’t know, a few weeks?”

“Three and a half years.” He corrected, looking up into her eyes. She shook her head.

“Can’t have, three years stuck here with me and you’d go barmy,” She told him, completely sure in her assumptions.

“No more barmy than usual, thank you.” He shifted the blanket around them, to cover their bodies, in that action the whole mood of the room changed and Rose waited patiently for him to talk.

“I thought when I did this… I thought if we had a lifetime together, that it would be enough, but it won’t be will it?” He turned his glassy eyes to meet hers, “When we leave this…bubble you won’t be staying with me, you’ll go back to your universe with the human version of me and I’ll have the memories we made here and I thought it would be enough.”

Rose opened her mouth as if to tell him she didn’t understand, but she couldn’t insult them both with playing ignorant right then, so she shut her mouth and tried to swallow the lump that stuck in her throat.

“I-I’d stay with you…” Rose managed to get out, a sob following her words. The Doctor stroked down the side of her face.

“This is why I’m being selfish, Rose, I’m creating these memories for me, and you won’t remember a moment of this…” Rose looked as if she’d been slapped and, for a moment, the Doctor thought maybe she was going to slap him.

Not his Rose, though.

She understood.

She understood him.

“Not yet, though, yeah?”

“Not yet.” He confirmed and moved to kiss her.

**S.**

“How long has it been?”

“Just over a decade.”

“I think it’s time.”

“No…no… just a little bit longer.”

“Doctor…we’re always going to want just a little bit longer.”

“I don’t think… I don’t think I can do it, Rose.”

“It’s okay.”

“How is it okay? How aren’t you mad at me for doing this to us?”

“I could never be angry at you for being just a little bit selfish, Doctor.”

**H.**

They stood back in the console room, wearing the same clothes, looking as if no time had passed at all. Which, the Doctor reminded Rose, it hadn’t really. It was the same reason why they looked the same, felt the same, and that Rose couldn’t really pinpoint how long it had been.

“So…you just put your hands up to my head and make me forget the last few years? It’s that simple? Taking away the best ye… I’m sorry, I’m just not ready to let go…”

“You won’t feel a thing; I’m not wiping your whole memory of me, just…these few years…”

“You make it seem simple.”

“This isn’t simple, Rose Tyler; never mistake this for being anything but hearts-breaking for me.” He leant down to kiss her, his hands moving up to her temples, the moment they did she broke from the kiss a mantra of ‘I’ll never forget’ exiting her lips, as if the will alone was enough power.

 


End file.
